Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
