Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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