Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
