i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize