i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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