I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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