the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he thought i was a dude.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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