you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
