She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize