so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
