Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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