he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize