I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
