Non-Jews are for practice
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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