I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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