The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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