well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
