If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
