i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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