Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
