I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
