what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
