That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
