He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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