I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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