I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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