So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
