Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
