I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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