I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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