please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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