And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
