i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my vag is so smooth its legendary
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
