We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize