you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
