p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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