whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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