She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize