No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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