Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
