No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The adults are the big ones right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
