So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
