Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
