we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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