I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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