Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
