is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
