I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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