I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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