That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
