Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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