How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
