Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
