He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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