ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
