his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
