exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
