Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
