I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
